What I want to be..?

So, I keep trying to figure out things to write about. Things that make me happy, sad, or emotional in some way.. but I feel like they're all cliche, things people have said before and not at all uncommon. Like, I hate that I can't get a "real" job, where my daughter goes to daycare and I help pay the bills... ya know, like most people want. So, I *could* go off on how much I hate the economy, but who isn't doing that right now?!


Instead, this is what I'll say.. because I guess right now, it's how I'm feeling::


I want to be witty, I want to be able to write well and express my feelings in a way that people can understand them and help me to either cope with them, or just plain old laugh at me. I want to be one of those people that people respond to, take to, and just all around like. But here, in the "South", I find it hard to make friends. I'm not talking about people who you talk to and sometimes hang out with. I mean friends; people that you can call in the middle of the night without feeling bad, people you can tell ANYTHING to and not question if they're going to tell everyone and their brother about your secret just because they *can*, I want someone who I can go and hang out with and that will accept the fact that I am a mother and a wife before I am anything else and therefore my family will be my numero uno, I want someone who gets me and is just as much of a bitch to me as I am to them (sometimes I need people to put me in my place, but not in a way that I'm offended and pissed off, a way that makes me realize I need to back down or direct my anger and attitude elsewhere - the hubby is really good for this one!!)...

I just want to be able to be someone people like, someone that's fun, someone that's carefree and can let loose sometimes. I want to be someone who doesn't always feel like they have to be careful of where they go or how far it is to get there because it's "too expensive" to pay the gas/tolls/etc. I want to be...me, but better.