Today is a happier day :)

To those of you that are concerned for me, and haven't yet spoken with me since my last post - I'm fine. I promise. Like I said, sometimes in life I fall down (pretty often actually) and loose myself, my motivation, and the fire that is usually lit under my ass. It happens to everyone, but most people can pick themselves up and keep on moving without noticing it - most of the time I can too. Sometimes I just need a boost, a friend, and shove in the right direction. Knowing people were concerned for me is a good thing, knowing people are worried for mine and my daughter's well being is a great feeling, but I promise everyone (if there's anyone) that reads this: I will never put my daughter, myself, my family, or my life in a situation that may become potentially hazardous or dangerous in ANY way! If I feel that I need to be on medicine to handle my personal stuff, I will be and I will NOT be ashamed to be because that's what would be best for my family!

Anyways, I'm past that. The drama queen has ruffled her feathers and taken a walk to Hollywood (at least that's where she SHOULD go if she's gonna be SO dramatic!) and is no longer a concern of mine. :D A couple good friends of mine gave me a handful of good laughs this evening, and yesterday, which has definitely bumped my mood. The kiddo has been (mostly.. but what almost 2 years is ALWAYS?!) well behaved, I got a good 2 hour nap in today, and my photography facebook page is growing in leaps and bounds. I'm super stoked to get my dream moving and make my photography my reality, instead of just a dream! :D

I've got another post brewing about "Part Time Friends" but that's gonna wait for another day, I'm going to simmer in the happiness that is today and run with it :)

This is ME!

So, I've been a horrible blogger lately.. but oh well.

I've had a few emotional impacts in my journey in the last few days, and I've come to this conclusion. I'm ME! Take me. Leave me. Love me. Hate me. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!!!

If I'm not the kind of person you want to surround yourself with, leave. If you don't like what I have to say on Facebook or in my day to day rantings, LEAVE. If you are offended that I am who I am, leave!

I am sick of buttering up to people, sick of being nice because I don't want to hurt people's feelings. I'm sick of trying to be TOO nice and being walked all over.

Guess what, sometimes life is hard for me and sometimes I just need a day - or 2, or 14 - to get back on MY feet and stand up for myself again.. it happens that I do so often fall down. Sometimes I can get up again on my own, sometimes I need a little shove, but at the end of the day if you want to be my friend - COOL! If you decide that what I've said is offensive, rude, outlandish, or just flat out not YOUR type of talk - WALK AWAY!

I'm sick of this, sick of being nice, sick and flipping tired of people thinking that because I'm sad, or lonely, that I need a doctor - I DON'T! I'm not clinically depressed, I'M JUST SAD! I'm not suicidal, I JUST WANNA HIT SOMETHING (sometimes! but who doesn't?!)

I'm not going to put myself OR MY DAUGHTER in danger, if that WERE the case I'd commit myself without a second thought. 

I'm a mother, I'm a wife, I'm proud of who I am and where I'm going in my life and if you can't support me, my decisions, my profession, or my family - then fuck off!

Bad blogging mommy!

I know, slap me on the wrist, I keep slipping up. But, life is life and it's insane some days more than others, and those that aren't so insane and I don't have to bea the computer I'm not wanting to be. I promise, I've got lots more opinions, feelings, and vents/rants to go on in the near future!!

PLEASE KEEP WATCHING OUT FOR MY WRITINGS! :P

RIP Navy Seal Team 6

I'm only going to say this once; like it or don't, that's your choice::

Loosing 31 MORE people to this war is sad, it's bad, and there's NOTHING good about it.. but if we did not have men/women willing to sacrifice their lives for everything that we - as the USA - stand for then we'd have been taken over by who knows which country by now. I do not defend anyone in particular in saying this; but I do not feel as though it's anyone's fault but the Taliban. They rammed OUR airplanes into the twin towers, they have killed hundreds of our soldiers since this war began, and THEY are the reason we continue to loose wonderful soldiers and people every single day. People, like the Navy Seal Team 6, are people that are PROUD to fight for our country and would've much more preferred to have "gone down" while doing what they love and fighting for this country than had they fallen "gone down" in their sleep!! My heart will forever go out to ALL the families that have lost a member, all the friends that have lost someone, and ALLLL the men and women who have paid the ULTIMATE sacrifice in this time of war; but don't think they won't go down in history and don't think that each and every one of them won't be remembered decades from now for being some of the most courageous, honorable, and loyal soldiers and citizens a person could be.

So, instead of taking this time to "blame" someone why don't we all just stop and appreciate their service, mourn for their loss, and REMEMBER THEM because that's the biggest honor we can give people of that caliber whom are fighting for our freedom!

Thank you to those that fight and those that have paid the ultimate sacrifice! No one can say the right words to make it right but I hope they know their losses will NOT go down in vaine! May they ALL RIP♥

Dear Exhaustion - Please GO AWAY!

Oh man am I exhausted after this weekend. I thought I was tired before, it's got nothin' on today! (Though, I am being productive..not sure how that's working!)

This weekend was slammed full of "stuff" - fun stuff, but "stuff" none-the-less.

Friday my in-laws got into town. We headed out to go see my hubby's job, and then out to dinner.

Saturday was INSANE! It was about 98* outside and the "feels like" (aka heat index) was at 113* for a good majority of the day, but our crazy selves decided that grilling out and heading down to Busch Gardens was a fabulous idea! I don't think I've ever sweat so much in my LIFE! We did have a blast though and the kiddo was FABULOUS! We enjoyed playing for the first hour or so that we were there, then headed over to dinner with Elmo (pictures to come later, my camera died so I've gotta get em from the in-laws) and friends. It was SUCH a great time, even the parents had fun! Judy got to meet Elmo, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Bert & Ernie, and we even saw Oscar the Grouch poking his head outta his trash can a few times! I was incredibly impressed with how Judy handled meeting the over sized characters, she didn't handle Santa too well this past Christmas so I was wicked concerned going into it... but she blew me away, as usual! :) After dinner we headed out to go find more rides to ride and things to do until the fireworks at 9:30 that evening. The hubby and I got to jump our butts on a few roller coasters (which was a TON of fun, but scary in a way I'd never experienced... walking away from your kiddo to get on a roller coaster is a different kind of fear, that's for sure!) and got to act like big kids while playing a couple of games around the park. Overall, it was a very fun and successful day all around!

Yesterday (Sunday) we were up first thing to head out to church with the in-laws. After that we came home for lunch and to let Judy nap, hubby and I both ended up passing out - we were just too exhausted to stay awake while she napped! Once we all got up we then headed over to a waterpark near our house called Ocean Breeze Waterpark. Judy is SUCH a water baby so she, of course, had a ton of fun! Once again the hubby and I left her with Grandma and PawPaw to head over to ride a few rides, it was fun but being parents we wanted to be with Judy and enjoy our time with her! :D She had a blast splashing around in the water and going down all the little slides (mommy almost knocked a few kids out who were trying to push her out of the way and run her over, but luckily they saw me and kinda ran for the hills before they hurt her!).

One very packed weekend, but it was tons of fun. It was hard to see my in-laws go (shocking, right?! ;) hahaha) but I can already tell it's going to get harder and harder to say good bye to family as Judy gets older. We walked them out to the car and as we waved good bye Judy just kept saying "Where's PawPaw? Where he go?" It's heart wrenching, really! :(

Now, it's Monday and we're back to the grind. Hubby is at work and Judy's napping. I'm doing laundry and dishes and all those fun things a mommy does. Tonight I've got to get some work done (I LOVE working from home!!!).... Oh Mondays - I loathe you!!

Sleeeeeeeeep!

How is it as an adult a person can need a ton of sleep, then said adult has a child and sleep doesn't exist - but that's okay! (????) I have always needed more sleep than "average", I've always been one of those people who needs the "8 hours of sleep every night" .. blahhhh! Since having a child, and working from home especially, sleep seems to be elusive and 8 hours a night just does NOT exist for me... but yet, I run FINE on it (most days HAHA). 4 .. 6 .. some nights even less and yet here I am functioning and working and cleaning and getting things done and running errands and all this and that and still, if I try to go to sleep before 10pm it's like trying to do a headstand from standing up (dang near impossible - COMPLETELY impossible for me!!!) and it never happens.

Strange how our bodies work when it comes to caring for our offspring, huh?

WOW! Where has the month gone?!

Okay - so I know that I haven't written in like, a MONTH, but life has seriously been INSANE! I think today is the first day I've been able to sit down and not feel like I've gotta get on the computer and get my stuff done just to get on the move again!

Let's see: We went to visit my BIL and his wife and new (9 week old) baby a couple weekends ago. I've been working my butt off. I got to photograph a friend of mine whose husband returned from deployment. More work. Cleaning. Oh yeah, a week ago (tomorrow) our stove/oven died so we've been grilling and eating out which is starting to get tough and a little boring... and mighty expensive!!

Hmmmm.. Judy's getting HUGE! She's learning how to associate animals with their sounds (cat = meow, dog = woof) she also knows what an Elephant is (not sure where that came from but she knows it!! She's mastering her body parts (eyes, ears, nose, mouth, belly button, feet, etc) and LOVES to point them out to mommy and daddy :)

We started going back to church as a family last week, it is interesting for me.. I come from a more Catholic background where hubby comes from a Christian background. Picking a church that we're both happy with has been interesting, and more tough for me to adjust to than him seeing as he grew up in the Non-Denominational Church.. Even though hubby had to work today Judy and I still went. (I'm really trying to put in the little bit of added effort...) It's definitely an interesting experience but one that I think I'll adjust to in time :)

Anyways, it's lunch time for me and nap time for the kiddo so I'm gonna head out.. but I PROMISE I'll write more sooner than a month from now! :D