Okay - so as some, well most, of you have noticed my facebook is dwindling from it's normal every day "action" on my end. There are a few reasons for this. If you care to know the down and dirty.. keep reading. If you think you *might* be offended and that it *might* pertain to you... I don't care, stop reading if you want. Anyways...
The Nitty Gritty
I have posted about this before, but I will say it again just in case any of you missed it. I am one of two things; I'm an all the time friend OR I am a none of the time friend. What this means - in case you need it spelled out for you - is this: Either you're friends with me all the time. You're there for me and my family when we need it and I'm there for you (and your family if need be) when you need it. We hang out (if you're not a million miles away) or at least spend time chit chatting and catching up here and there (when time permits). I'm not saying you've got to call, or text, or message me, or what have you E.V.E.R.Y. day.. but stop in and say hey once in a while. Show you care. Show you care by more than just "liking" or commenting on my facebook status messages, that's not showing you care.. not really!
I understand that life gets out of hand, really.. I do. I am a mother of an almost 2 year old rambunctious little girl, and a wife of a man who comes and goes as often as the sun in New England. I am not someone who sits around and does nothing but wait for people to contact me, I'm always doing something. Cleaning, cooking, playing, laundry, and the list goes on - but that does NOT mean that I can't stop and take a few moments every day to text, or message, or get in contact with my friends and say "Hey, what's up? How are you?" ESPECIALLY when I know they're having a tough time with something.
Nearly 6 weeks ago a close friend of mine from CT that I've known since high school passed away. Everyone knows this. Everyone has seen it show up on my FB in some form or another. You all are aware that I've been hurting at this loss. I still am not having an easy time coming to terms with someone that is my age passing away in such a sudden and unexpected manor. I am lost, in a way, and I don't know what to do about it.. I need my friends. I need people to reach out to me. I've made that abundantly clear. Yet, the few people whom I expected to reach out, to understand where I'm coming from and how I'm feeling, have yet to say "Hey, how are you really doing?" As a matter of fact I think MAYBE 4 people have asked, my husband included, if I'm ok.. like, really okay. That's not a true friendship to me. If you can't help me when I'm down, if you can't acknowledge that I'm hurting, if you can't take just a few moments out of your day to say "hey" when things are tough.. then you're not a true friend in my eyes.
At the end of the day this is how I see things now. I'm no longer posting super personal stuff on facebook, I'm no longer going to contact people who don't contact me, and I am sure as hell not going to make time for people if they can't make time for me. I'm not going to help you when you need help if you can't step up and help me when I need help. I'm not going out of my way for anyone anymore. I'm done trying. I'm done with allowing my "friendships" to be a one way road. You try, I try.. that's how it works, don't like it?? See ya!
I'm not stressing over who and what I have in my life anymore. I've got the most amazing husband who does any and everything for me and loves me more and more every day. I've got a daughter who adores my very presence in the room. I've got a life to cherish. If you want to be a part of that life I suggest you get off your ass and put some effort forth too.
If you've been doing it all along, THANK YOU. If you haven't, it's time you got what you deserve.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Friday, September 30, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
WOW! Where has the month gone?!
Okay - so I know that I haven't written in like, a MONTH, but life has seriously been INSANE! I think today is the first day I've been able to sit down and not feel like I've gotta get on the computer and get my stuff done just to get on the move again!
Let's see: We went to visit my BIL and his wife and new (9 week old) baby a couple weekends ago. I've been working my butt off. I got to photograph a friend of mine whose husband returned from deployment. More work. Cleaning. Oh yeah, a week ago (tomorrow) our stove/oven died so we've been grilling and eating out which is starting to get tough and a little boring... and mighty expensive!!
Hmmmm.. Judy's getting HUGE! She's learning how to associate animals with their sounds (cat = meow, dog = woof) she also knows what an Elephant is (not sure where that came from but she knows it!! She's mastering her body parts (eyes, ears, nose, mouth, belly button, feet, etc) and LOVES to point them out to mommy and daddy :)
We started going back to church as a family last week, it is interesting for me.. I come from a more Catholic background where hubby comes from a Christian background. Picking a church that we're both happy with has been interesting, and more tough for me to adjust to than him seeing as he grew up in the Non-Denominational Church.. Even though hubby had to work today Judy and I still went. (I'm really trying to put in the little bit of added effort...) It's definitely an interesting experience but one that I think I'll adjust to in time :)
Anyways, it's lunch time for me and nap time for the kiddo so I'm gonna head out.. but I PROMISE I'll write more sooner than a month from now! :D
Let's see: We went to visit my BIL and his wife and new (9 week old) baby a couple weekends ago. I've been working my butt off. I got to photograph a friend of mine whose husband returned from deployment. More work. Cleaning. Oh yeah, a week ago (tomorrow) our stove/oven died so we've been grilling and eating out which is starting to get tough and a little boring... and mighty expensive!!
Hmmmm.. Judy's getting HUGE! She's learning how to associate animals with their sounds (cat = meow, dog = woof) she also knows what an Elephant is (not sure where that came from but she knows it!! She's mastering her body parts (eyes, ears, nose, mouth, belly button, feet, etc) and LOVES to point them out to mommy and daddy :)
We started going back to church as a family last week, it is interesting for me.. I come from a more Catholic background where hubby comes from a Christian background. Picking a church that we're both happy with has been interesting, and more tough for me to adjust to than him seeing as he grew up in the Non-Denominational Church.. Even though hubby had to work today Judy and I still went. (I'm really trying to put in the little bit of added effort...) It's definitely an interesting experience but one that I think I'll adjust to in time :)
Anyways, it's lunch time for me and nap time for the kiddo so I'm gonna head out.. but I PROMISE I'll write more sooner than a month from now! :D
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Going back in time..
Do you ever wish that for just one moment you could go back in time? Fix something that went wrong - a friendship, a piece of jewelry, a relationship - and just make it all better, then instantly flash back to the present and have everything be the same except that one little thing you fixed...? I do!
Now, don't get me wrong, I believe in a very strong way that everything happens for a reason. Friendships are gained and lost mainly to teach us a lesson in life, teach us love, teach us pain, teach us the things we need to know to not mess up the same way again. Just because I don't regret things doesn't mean I don't wish there were some things I could change about how I reacted in a particular situation, the things I said, the feelings I felt... it doesn't mean I don't wish I could go back in time, undo those hurtful things and redo them with more patience and understanding.
Since my life has begun as a wife, living in VA, and becoming a mother things have changed for me. I've be come a different person today than I was 2 or 3 years ago, heck even a year ago I was different. We all change and grow as we get older (at least most people do...) and we learn lessons. Some lessons we've got to learn the hard way, some lessons can be taught to us by our parents or our peers.. most of the time (you can ask anyone that's known me for any extended amount of time) I need to learn things the hard way. I don't take people's words of advice, I don't watch and learn, I've got to get down in the dirt to find out that's what makes a person dirty. That's just the kind of person I am, can't change it.. so I am learning (yes, still learning at 23 years old) how to live with such a strong feature in my own personality.
So far, this is what I've come up with...
-When patience run low, walk away. Friendships, child, husband, project.. anything. It's beneficial for me to walk away, take a deep breath, and continue with the issue at a later time and/or date.
-Talk through things without swearing or raising my voice. A dear friend of mine whom I have lost contact with taught me that fighting with hurtful words will get a person no where, it only continues to hurt the person you're fighting with which in turn causes them to want to hurt you back - it's a never ending cycle! Use calm tones of voice, nice words, and be reasonable - if those 3 things can't be done.. refer to the first memo!
-Be honest about my feelings. How can anyone know what I'm feeling (especially my poor husband) if I don't say to them "Look, I'm feeling _______, please understand why I'm acting this way." My attitude, the way I react to different situations - like everyone - varies at any given moment pending what I'm thinking about, dealing with, or even just debating in my own brain. It's sometimes miserable and I've got to remind myself to take a breath and handle each situation as it comes!
Lastly, the biggest thing I'm starting to work on with myself is: -Trust in God, He will not let those fail who don't let themselves fail. My relationship with God and the church has been a forever battle internally. When I was a child I loved going to church, it was so much fun to get up on Sunday mornings and play with all my friends in Sunday school. We had play dates, we hung out, we were all super super close... then our church began having problems and we couldn't afford to fix them (we were a SUPER small church, probably part of why I loved it!!) so we ended up having to merge with another church. Long story short; it was a bad church, most of the people left, and the people who were originally from the church we merged with were all super snobby and had their noses so far in the air they weren't willing to be true friends. In the end, I started to not want to go.. fought my mom every Sunday so I wouldn't have to go, and in the end we stopped going. Once I became old enough to go on my own there was always something "more interesting" going on, and once I got my own car and a job I was working on Sundays (heck yeah time and 1/2!! that's huge at 16!!). Now, I'm a mom and a wife to a very strong and true Christian. My husband is a very strong believer in God and all that He can do, which makes me look back and wonder where my life would be if I hadn't been "too busy" for church.
In the end what I know is that I need to find it again, the faith and strength in Him. I need to move forward and stop looking back at what might have been, what could have been, or what would be today had I changed "x,y, or z". This doesn't only apply to God and church, it applies to everything in my life. The friendships I've lost, the relationships that hit the fan, and the things I would've changed if I could've - it's all taught me valuable lessons in life and now I need to move forward, learn from them, and become a better person/wife/mother/friend.
A good friend once said: "A little humility and lots of love can heal all." Thank you for that, friend, I plan to use it for my future and remember it always!
Now, don't get me wrong, I believe in a very strong way that everything happens for a reason. Friendships are gained and lost mainly to teach us a lesson in life, teach us love, teach us pain, teach us the things we need to know to not mess up the same way again. Just because I don't regret things doesn't mean I don't wish there were some things I could change about how I reacted in a particular situation, the things I said, the feelings I felt... it doesn't mean I don't wish I could go back in time, undo those hurtful things and redo them with more patience and understanding.
Since my life has begun as a wife, living in VA, and becoming a mother things have changed for me. I've be come a different person today than I was 2 or 3 years ago, heck even a year ago I was different. We all change and grow as we get older (at least most people do...) and we learn lessons. Some lessons we've got to learn the hard way, some lessons can be taught to us by our parents or our peers.. most of the time (you can ask anyone that's known me for any extended amount of time) I need to learn things the hard way. I don't take people's words of advice, I don't watch and learn, I've got to get down in the dirt to find out that's what makes a person dirty. That's just the kind of person I am, can't change it.. so I am learning (yes, still learning at 23 years old) how to live with such a strong feature in my own personality.
So far, this is what I've come up with...
-When patience run low, walk away. Friendships, child, husband, project.. anything. It's beneficial for me to walk away, take a deep breath, and continue with the issue at a later time and/or date.
-Talk through things without swearing or raising my voice. A dear friend of mine whom I have lost contact with taught me that fighting with hurtful words will get a person no where, it only continues to hurt the person you're fighting with which in turn causes them to want to hurt you back - it's a never ending cycle! Use calm tones of voice, nice words, and be reasonable - if those 3 things can't be done.. refer to the first memo!
-Be honest about my feelings. How can anyone know what I'm feeling (especially my poor husband) if I don't say to them "Look, I'm feeling _______, please understand why I'm acting this way." My attitude, the way I react to different situations - like everyone - varies at any given moment pending what I'm thinking about, dealing with, or even just debating in my own brain. It's sometimes miserable and I've got to remind myself to take a breath and handle each situation as it comes!
Lastly, the biggest thing I'm starting to work on with myself is: -Trust in God, He will not let those fail who don't let themselves fail. My relationship with God and the church has been a forever battle internally. When I was a child I loved going to church, it was so much fun to get up on Sunday mornings and play with all my friends in Sunday school. We had play dates, we hung out, we were all super super close... then our church began having problems and we couldn't afford to fix them (we were a SUPER small church, probably part of why I loved it!!) so we ended up having to merge with another church. Long story short; it was a bad church, most of the people left, and the people who were originally from the church we merged with were all super snobby and had their noses so far in the air they weren't willing to be true friends. In the end, I started to not want to go.. fought my mom every Sunday so I wouldn't have to go, and in the end we stopped going. Once I became old enough to go on my own there was always something "more interesting" going on, and once I got my own car and a job I was working on Sundays (heck yeah time and 1/2!! that's huge at 16!!). Now, I'm a mom and a wife to a very strong and true Christian. My husband is a very strong believer in God and all that He can do, which makes me look back and wonder where my life would be if I hadn't been "too busy" for church.
In the end what I know is that I need to find it again, the faith and strength in Him. I need to move forward and stop looking back at what might have been, what could have been, or what would be today had I changed "x,y, or z". This doesn't only apply to God and church, it applies to everything in my life. The friendships I've lost, the relationships that hit the fan, and the things I would've changed if I could've - it's all taught me valuable lessons in life and now I need to move forward, learn from them, and become a better person/wife/mother/friend.
A good friend once said: "A little humility and lots of love can heal all." Thank you for that, friend, I plan to use it for my future and remember it always!
Friday, May 27, 2011
A little about my life...
My life.. hmmm. It's definitely interesting, fast-paced, unpredictable, and mostly fabulous. My husband and I have been married for 2 years as of this past March 25th, and our daughter just turned 18 months old on the 9th of May. Currently I reside about 10 minutes from one of the biggest destination locations in the world, originally I'm from about 500 miles North of here, this is my first time ever living away from home or my family. Things on my own can get tough, but none-the-less I still wouldn't trade this life for the World, even if you offered it to me on a pretty China dish on a beautiful silver platter. I believe when life gets tough.. ya gotta get tougher than that, ya gotta stay a step ahead of the game and expect the unexpected, and more than anything ya just gotta be you!
This blog will confuse some I'm sure, throw others for a doozy, and probably be super random and possibly on occasion a little out of the ordinary. I have many random thoughts, I think of many random songs, and there will be days when I won't post anything other than possibly a quote that just perfectly describes my life in that moment in time.
As for me - just me - I like to think of myself as fun-loving, a pet lover, and someone who just doesn't care what anyone thinks about her anymore. I spent a lot of time, TOO MUCH time, worrying about who was thinking what about me... but in the end - what good does that do ME?! So, now.. I don't care! :) The people I love mean the world to me and I don't stand for anyone being mean, rude, or immature towards them. I speak my mind without hesitation - some people say my brain to mouth filter is broken, I guess it's an accurate way of describing me most days. I'm an open book, if someone asks me a question 99.9% of the time I'll answer them without any hesitation. I have nothing to hide, I'm not ashamed of who I am, and I believe everything happens for a reason. I do believe there is a God, I also believe in Astrology and yoga - apparently I can't seem to make up my mind (that's typical of me though...you'll see!) and it doesn't bother me in the least. I attempted one career for too long and spent far too much money on college only to not receive a degree and to choose a COMPLETELY different career path. Right now I edit photos for a real estate photographer, it gets a little tedious sometimes but I work from home on my own schedule (more or less) and I don't have to put my daughter in daycare - so it's a win-win for me. Currently I am in the process of trying to begin a photography business - I have never felt so complete in a career path as I do when I stand behind my camera and capture the moments that mean so much to people. I'm better at nature and still photography for right now, but I'm working on learning many many other things (it's a career where you can NEVER know it all and I love that!). I used to have an incredible passion for learning, but that passion has faded since I failed to achieve my longest standing goal (ya know, the one that I decided not to do after spending WAY too much money on college.. yeah, that one). I'm trying with all my might to figure out who I am, where I'm going, and where I want to end up.
But, for now, I'm enjoying my life here on the beach as a mommy and wife.. taking life a day at a time.
This blog will confuse some I'm sure, throw others for a doozy, and probably be super random and possibly on occasion a little out of the ordinary. I have many random thoughts, I think of many random songs, and there will be days when I won't post anything other than possibly a quote that just perfectly describes my life in that moment in time.
As for me - just me - I like to think of myself as fun-loving, a pet lover, and someone who just doesn't care what anyone thinks about her anymore. I spent a lot of time, TOO MUCH time, worrying about who was thinking what about me... but in the end - what good does that do ME?! So, now.. I don't care! :) The people I love mean the world to me and I don't stand for anyone being mean, rude, or immature towards them. I speak my mind without hesitation - some people say my brain to mouth filter is broken, I guess it's an accurate way of describing me most days. I'm an open book, if someone asks me a question 99.9% of the time I'll answer them without any hesitation. I have nothing to hide, I'm not ashamed of who I am, and I believe everything happens for a reason. I do believe there is a God, I also believe in Astrology and yoga - apparently I can't seem to make up my mind (that's typical of me though...you'll see!) and it doesn't bother me in the least. I attempted one career for too long and spent far too much money on college only to not receive a degree and to choose a COMPLETELY different career path. Right now I edit photos for a real estate photographer, it gets a little tedious sometimes but I work from home on my own schedule (more or less) and I don't have to put my daughter in daycare - so it's a win-win for me. Currently I am in the process of trying to begin a photography business - I have never felt so complete in a career path as I do when I stand behind my camera and capture the moments that mean so much to people. I'm better at nature and still photography for right now, but I'm working on learning many many other things (it's a career where you can NEVER know it all and I love that!). I used to have an incredible passion for learning, but that passion has faded since I failed to achieve my longest standing goal (ya know, the one that I decided not to do after spending WAY too much money on college.. yeah, that one). I'm trying with all my might to figure out who I am, where I'm going, and where I want to end up.
But, for now, I'm enjoying my life here on the beach as a mommy and wife.. taking life a day at a time.
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