Okay - so as some, well most, of you have noticed my facebook is dwindling from it's normal every day "action" on my end. There are a few reasons for this. If you care to know the down and dirty.. keep reading. If you think you *might* be offended and that it *might* pertain to you... I don't care, stop reading if you want. Anyways...
The Nitty Gritty
I have posted about this before, but I will say it again just in case any of you missed it. I am one of two things; I'm an all the time friend OR I am a none of the time friend. What this means - in case you need it spelled out for you - is this: Either you're friends with me all the time. You're there for me and my family when we need it and I'm there for you (and your family if need be) when you need it. We hang out (if you're not a million miles away) or at least spend time chit chatting and catching up here and there (when time permits). I'm not saying you've got to call, or text, or message me, or what have you E.V.E.R.Y. day.. but stop in and say hey once in a while. Show you care. Show you care by more than just "liking" or commenting on my facebook status messages, that's not showing you care.. not really!
I understand that life gets out of hand, really.. I do. I am a mother of an almost 2 year old rambunctious little girl, and a wife of a man who comes and goes as often as the sun in New England. I am not someone who sits around and does nothing but wait for people to contact me, I'm always doing something. Cleaning, cooking, playing, laundry, and the list goes on - but that does NOT mean that I can't stop and take a few moments every day to text, or message, or get in contact with my friends and say "Hey, what's up? How are you?" ESPECIALLY when I know they're having a tough time with something.
Nearly 6 weeks ago a close friend of mine from CT that I've known since high school passed away. Everyone knows this. Everyone has seen it show up on my FB in some form or another. You all are aware that I've been hurting at this loss. I still am not having an easy time coming to terms with someone that is my age passing away in such a sudden and unexpected manor. I am lost, in a way, and I don't know what to do about it.. I need my friends. I need people to reach out to me. I've made that abundantly clear. Yet, the few people whom I expected to reach out, to understand where I'm coming from and how I'm feeling, have yet to say "Hey, how are you really doing?" As a matter of fact I think MAYBE 4 people have asked, my husband included, if I'm ok.. like, really okay. That's not a true friendship to me. If you can't help me when I'm down, if you can't acknowledge that I'm hurting, if you can't take just a few moments out of your day to say "hey" when things are tough.. then you're not a true friend in my eyes.
At the end of the day this is how I see things now. I'm no longer posting super personal stuff on facebook, I'm no longer going to contact people who don't contact me, and I am sure as hell not going to make time for people if they can't make time for me. I'm not going to help you when you need help if you can't step up and help me when I need help. I'm not going out of my way for anyone anymore. I'm done trying. I'm done with allowing my "friendships" to be a one way road. You try, I try.. that's how it works, don't like it?? See ya!
I'm not stressing over who and what I have in my life anymore. I've got the most amazing husband who does any and everything for me and loves me more and more every day. I've got a daughter who adores my very presence in the room. I've got a life to cherish. If you want to be a part of that life I suggest you get off your ass and put some effort forth too.
If you've been doing it all along, THANK YOU. If you haven't, it's time you got what you deserve.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Glasses?
I'm pretty sure I need glasses, again. I haven't worn them in forever and now they give me an even worse headache than I already have...
I hate doctors.
Humph *pouts like a 5 year old child*
I hate doctors.
Humph *pouts like a 5 year old child*
Monday, September 19, 2011
What I want to be..?
So, I keep trying to figure out things to write about. Things that make me happy, sad, or emotional in some way.. but I feel like they're all cliche, things people have said before and not at all uncommon. Like, I hate that I can't get a "real" job, where my daughter goes to daycare and I help pay the bills... ya know, like most people want. So, I *could* go off on how much I hate the economy, but who isn't doing that right now?!
Instead, this is what I'll say.. because I guess right now, it's how I'm feeling::
I want to be witty, I want to be able to write well and express my feelings in a way that people can understand them and help me to either cope with them, or just plain old laugh at me. I want to be one of those people that people respond to, take to, and just all around like. But here, in the "South", I find it hard to make friends. I'm not talking about people who you talk to and sometimes hang out with. I mean friends; people that you can call in the middle of the night without feeling bad, people you can tell ANYTHING to and not question if they're going to tell everyone and their brother about your secret just because they *can*, I want someone who I can go and hang out with and that will accept the fact that I am a mother and a wife before I am anything else and therefore my family will be my numero uno, I want someone who gets me and is just as much of a bitch to me as I am to them (sometimes I need people to put me in my place, but not in a way that I'm offended and pissed off, a way that makes me realize I need to back down or direct my anger and attitude elsewhere - the hubby is really good for this one!!)...
I just want to be able to be someone people like, someone that's fun, someone that's carefree and can let loose sometimes. I want to be someone who doesn't always feel like they have to be careful of where they go or how far it is to get there because it's "too expensive" to pay the gas/tolls/etc. I want to be...me, but better.
Instead, this is what I'll say.. because I guess right now, it's how I'm feeling::
I want to be witty, I want to be able to write well and express my feelings in a way that people can understand them and help me to either cope with them, or just plain old laugh at me. I want to be one of those people that people respond to, take to, and just all around like. But here, in the "South", I find it hard to make friends. I'm not talking about people who you talk to and sometimes hang out with. I mean friends; people that you can call in the middle of the night without feeling bad, people you can tell ANYTHING to and not question if they're going to tell everyone and their brother about your secret just because they *can*, I want someone who I can go and hang out with and that will accept the fact that I am a mother and a wife before I am anything else and therefore my family will be my numero uno, I want someone who gets me and is just as much of a bitch to me as I am to them (sometimes I need people to put me in my place, but not in a way that I'm offended and pissed off, a way that makes me realize I need to back down or direct my anger and attitude elsewhere - the hubby is really good for this one!!)...
I just want to be able to be someone people like, someone that's fun, someone that's carefree and can let loose sometimes. I want to be someone who doesn't always feel like they have to be careful of where they go or how far it is to get there because it's "too expensive" to pay the gas/tolls/etc. I want to be...me, but better.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Mutual Respect - A thing of the past?
When did mutual respect become a thing of the past? Something that no one seems to follow, understand, or comprehend in their lives. When did life become so busy that keeping a friendship going strong just didn't make a difference? When a friend is blatantly having a very tough time with life, when did people stop asking if they were okay? Or stop to take the time to actually listen to them when they're not?
**WARNING** Whining, complaining, and bitching commencing**
I know life is crazy, heck - I just spent the last 2 weeks in CT with my family dealing with the loss of one of my closest friends from HS, coping with the earthquake that happened here in VA, and then the hurricane that came up the coast and knocked power out for 6 days at my mom's house.. added on to the fact I haven't seen my husband in over a month due to unforeseen circumstances... but yet, I still try to chit chat with people, stay involved, and keep tabs on who is going through what so I can send prayers, love, and attention their way. Yes, this may sound a little bit greedy; but aren't we all entitled to a little bit of attention and greed from our friends/family? I think so!
I think we're all entitled to want just a smidge of attention when we're having a tough time, and to complain and bitch, and whine and moan is exactly what I'm going to do. I'm sick of being ignored, I'm tired of feeling like I've got no one to turn to except my parents and my husband (who all have other lives besides me, obviously). I make friends for a REASON and if that reason is for nothing more than supporting each other, so be it. But that support is not a one way street in my life. Either you give support to receive support, or you get nothing from me. I'm so over some people, it's so not even funny!!! (This is not aimed at anyone directly, but if you choose to take this offensively take a look at our "friendship" and it might be implied towards you!!!)
**THANK YOU** Whining, complaining, and bitching completed**
**WARNING** Whining, complaining, and bitching commencing**
I know life is crazy, heck - I just spent the last 2 weeks in CT with my family dealing with the loss of one of my closest friends from HS, coping with the earthquake that happened here in VA, and then the hurricane that came up the coast and knocked power out for 6 days at my mom's house.. added on to the fact I haven't seen my husband in over a month due to unforeseen circumstances... but yet, I still try to chit chat with people, stay involved, and keep tabs on who is going through what so I can send prayers, love, and attention their way. Yes, this may sound a little bit greedy; but aren't we all entitled to a little bit of attention and greed from our friends/family? I think so!
I think we're all entitled to want just a smidge of attention when we're having a tough time, and to complain and bitch, and whine and moan is exactly what I'm going to do. I'm sick of being ignored, I'm tired of feeling like I've got no one to turn to except my parents and my husband (who all have other lives besides me, obviously). I make friends for a REASON and if that reason is for nothing more than supporting each other, so be it. But that support is not a one way street in my life. Either you give support to receive support, or you get nothing from me. I'm so over some people, it's so not even funny!!! (This is not aimed at anyone directly, but if you choose to take this offensively take a look at our "friendship" and it might be implied towards you!!!)
**THANK YOU** Whining, complaining, and bitching completed**
Sunday, September 11, 2011
10 Years Ago - A decade!
There are a million and one things I could say. There are a thousand prayers I could pray. There's hundreds of things I could try to do to "help".
At the end of the day - none of it matters. At the end of the day all that can ever be "done" is to honor, remember, and love.
Honor those that serve this country every day. I do not mean JUST our military, I also mean our fire, police, and first responders. I mean people who put their lives on the line daily in our very own communities to ensure our safety as American citizens. Honoring our military is also important, they leave their families for days, weeks, months, and even sometimes years at a time. They sacrifice and risk their lives every day for what happened a decade ago, today.
Remember those that were in the towers the day they fell, the Pentagon the day it was hit, the people who were just flying to a new destination the day they were driven into one of the most horrific days in US History. Remember the public service members that were lost trying to find the people who were buried in the rubble. Remember those that have fought and busted butt to defend our country. Remember the Seal Team 6 that killed Osama Bin Laden, and then later sacrificed their own lives to ensure our safety. Remember why. Remember who. Remember them all!
Love each other. Love our country. Love those that you've got close to you. Tomorrow may never come, accept and appreciate and love the time we've got together now while we've got it. Just Love.
At the end of the day - all that can be done now, a decade later; honor, remember, and love.
Always remember, never forget! 9/11/2001
At the end of the day - none of it matters. At the end of the day all that can ever be "done" is to honor, remember, and love.
Honor those that serve this country every day. I do not mean JUST our military, I also mean our fire, police, and first responders. I mean people who put their lives on the line daily in our very own communities to ensure our safety as American citizens. Honoring our military is also important, they leave their families for days, weeks, months, and even sometimes years at a time. They sacrifice and risk their lives every day for what happened a decade ago, today.
Remember those that were in the towers the day they fell, the Pentagon the day it was hit, the people who were just flying to a new destination the day they were driven into one of the most horrific days in US History. Remember the public service members that were lost trying to find the people who were buried in the rubble. Remember those that have fought and busted butt to defend our country. Remember the Seal Team 6 that killed Osama Bin Laden, and then later sacrificed their own lives to ensure our safety. Remember why. Remember who. Remember them all!
Love each other. Love our country. Love those that you've got close to you. Tomorrow may never come, accept and appreciate and love the time we've got together now while we've got it. Just Love.
At the end of the day - all that can be done now, a decade later; honor, remember, and love.
Always remember, never forget! 9/11/2001
Sunday, August 21, 2011
"Part Time Friends" aka "Fair Weather Friends"
Okay - so I've kinda been having this issue with people who are only friends when it's convenient for them. Ya know, when they want something/need something/don't wanna be alone/etc etc etc...?! I'm so over this whole theory, I'm sick and tired of people who only want a friend when it's convenient for them. I'm either and all weather friend, or no friend at all! I don't like this whole idea behind "I only want to be friends when it's convenient for me" theory, I'd just as soon loose a friend over that kinda stuff than keep them when I don't mean much to them.
My friendships are about quality NOT quantity, and I've noticed that so many people lately are all about whose got more "friends"! Why does it matter if you've got 300 or 3,000 friends? If you don't know 3/4 of the people that you're "friends" with then why bother having them in your life?! I just don't understand why, why people can't stand to be friends ALL the time or NONE of the time.
Here's my thought. If you're from my hometown and we hardly talk, then to me it's understandable - we're 500 miles away! BUTTTTTTT if we're "new" friends, friends since I've moved to VA, and you can't find time to keep me as a part of your life - then see ya. I'm not asking for contact EVERY day, I'm not asking to spend time with you every waking moment, I'm simply asking for a text or a phone call or a quick message here and there saying "hey, how ya doin?" Is that too much to ask? Like, I'm honestly asking if that is too much to ask? I know life is crazy, I know life can be super busy, but fact of the matter is when my husband came home from being away for a YEAR I still tried to text/call/keep in contact with everyone at least a little...
Anyways, that's my rant, my run down, my big mouth voicing how I feel!
My friendships are about quality NOT quantity, and I've noticed that so many people lately are all about whose got more "friends"! Why does it matter if you've got 300 or 3,000 friends? If you don't know 3/4 of the people that you're "friends" with then why bother having them in your life?! I just don't understand why, why people can't stand to be friends ALL the time or NONE of the time.
Here's my thought. If you're from my hometown and we hardly talk, then to me it's understandable - we're 500 miles away! BUTTTTTTT if we're "new" friends, friends since I've moved to VA, and you can't find time to keep me as a part of your life - then see ya. I'm not asking for contact EVERY day, I'm not asking to spend time with you every waking moment, I'm simply asking for a text or a phone call or a quick message here and there saying "hey, how ya doin?" Is that too much to ask? Like, I'm honestly asking if that is too much to ask? I know life is crazy, I know life can be super busy, but fact of the matter is when my husband came home from being away for a YEAR I still tried to text/call/keep in contact with everyone at least a little...
Anyways, that's my rant, my run down, my big mouth voicing how I feel!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Today is a happier day :)
To those of you that are concerned for me, and haven't yet spoken with me since my last post - I'm fine. I promise. Like I said, sometimes in life I fall down (pretty often actually) and loose myself, my motivation, and the fire that is usually lit under my ass. It happens to everyone, but most people can pick themselves up and keep on moving without noticing it - most of the time I can too. Sometimes I just need a boost, a friend, and shove in the right direction. Knowing people were concerned for me is a good thing, knowing people are worried for mine and my daughter's well being is a great feeling, but I promise everyone (if there's anyone) that reads this: I will never put my daughter, myself, my family, or my life in a situation that may become potentially hazardous or dangerous in ANY way! If I feel that I need to be on medicine to handle my personal stuff, I will be and I will NOT be ashamed to be because that's what would be best for my family!
Anyways, I'm past that. The drama queen has ruffled her feathers and taken a walk to Hollywood (at least that's where she SHOULD go if she's gonna be SO dramatic!) and is no longer a concern of mine. :D A couple good friends of mine gave me a handful of good laughs this evening, and yesterday, which has definitely bumped my mood. The kiddo has been (mostly.. but what almost 2 years is ALWAYS?!) well behaved, I got a good 2 hour nap in today, and my photography facebook page is growing in leaps and bounds. I'm super stoked to get my dream moving and make my photography my reality, instead of just a dream! :D
I've got another post brewing about "Part Time Friends" but that's gonna wait for another day, I'm going to simmer in the happiness that is today and run with it :)
Anyways, I'm past that. The drama queen has ruffled her feathers and taken a walk to Hollywood (at least that's where she SHOULD go if she's gonna be SO dramatic!) and is no longer a concern of mine. :D A couple good friends of mine gave me a handful of good laughs this evening, and yesterday, which has definitely bumped my mood. The kiddo has been (mostly.. but what almost 2 years is ALWAYS?!) well behaved, I got a good 2 hour nap in today, and my photography facebook page is growing in leaps and bounds. I'm super stoked to get my dream moving and make my photography my reality, instead of just a dream! :D
I've got another post brewing about "Part Time Friends" but that's gonna wait for another day, I'm going to simmer in the happiness that is today and run with it :)
Thursday, August 18, 2011
This is ME!
So, I've been a horrible blogger lately.. but oh well.
I've had a few emotional impacts in my journey in the last few days, and I've come to this conclusion. I'm ME! Take me. Leave me. Love me. Hate me. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!!!
If I'm not the kind of person you want to surround yourself with, leave. If you don't like what I have to say on Facebook or in my day to day rantings, LEAVE. If you are offended that I am who I am, leave!
I am sick of buttering up to people, sick of being nice because I don't want to hurt people's feelings. I'm sick of trying to be TOO nice and being walked all over.
Guess what, sometimes life is hard for me and sometimes I just need a day - or 2, or 14 - to get back on MY feet and stand up for myself again.. it happens that I do so often fall down. Sometimes I can get up again on my own, sometimes I need a little shove, but at the end of the day if you want to be my friend - COOL! If you decide that what I've said is offensive, rude, outlandish, or just flat out not YOUR type of talk - WALK AWAY!
I'm sick of this, sick of being nice, sick and flipping tired of people thinking that because I'm sad, or lonely, that I need a doctor - I DON'T! I'm not clinically depressed, I'M JUST SAD! I'm not suicidal, I JUST WANNA HIT SOMETHING (sometimes! but who doesn't?!)
I'm not going to put myself OR MY DAUGHTER in danger, if that WERE the case I'd commit myself without a second thought.
I'm a mother, I'm a wife, I'm proud of who I am and where I'm going in my life and if you can't support me, my decisions, my profession, or my family - then fuck off!
I've had a few emotional impacts in my journey in the last few days, and I've come to this conclusion. I'm ME! Take me. Leave me. Love me. Hate me. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!!!
If I'm not the kind of person you want to surround yourself with, leave. If you don't like what I have to say on Facebook or in my day to day rantings, LEAVE. If you are offended that I am who I am, leave!
I am sick of buttering up to people, sick of being nice because I don't want to hurt people's feelings. I'm sick of trying to be TOO nice and being walked all over.
Guess what, sometimes life is hard for me and sometimes I just need a day - or 2, or 14 - to get back on MY feet and stand up for myself again.. it happens that I do so often fall down. Sometimes I can get up again on my own, sometimes I need a little shove, but at the end of the day if you want to be my friend - COOL! If you decide that what I've said is offensive, rude, outlandish, or just flat out not YOUR type of talk - WALK AWAY!
I'm sick of this, sick of being nice, sick and flipping tired of people thinking that because I'm sad, or lonely, that I need a doctor - I DON'T! I'm not clinically depressed, I'M JUST SAD! I'm not suicidal, I JUST WANNA HIT SOMETHING (sometimes! but who doesn't?!)
I'm not going to put myself OR MY DAUGHTER in danger, if that WERE the case I'd commit myself without a second thought.
I'm a mother, I'm a wife, I'm proud of who I am and where I'm going in my life and if you can't support me, my decisions, my profession, or my family - then fuck off!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Bad blogging mommy!
I know, slap me on the wrist, I keep slipping up. But, life is life and it's insane some days more than others, and those that aren't so insane and I don't have to bea the computer I'm not wanting to be. I promise, I've got lots more opinions, feelings, and vents/rants to go on in the near future!!
PLEASE KEEP WATCHING OUT FOR MY WRITINGS! :P
PLEASE KEEP WATCHING OUT FOR MY WRITINGS! :P
Sunday, August 7, 2011
RIP Navy Seal Team 6
I'm only going to say this once; like it or don't, that's your choice::
Loosing 31 MORE people to this war is sad, it's bad, and there's NOTHING good about it.. but if we did not have men/women willing to sacrifice their lives for everything that we - as the USA - stand for then we'd have been taken over by who knows which country by now. I do not defend anyone in particular in saying this; but I do not feel as though it's anyone's fault but the Taliban. They rammed OUR airplanes into the twin towers, they have killed hundreds of our soldiers since this war began, and THEY are the reason we continue to loose wonderful soldiers and people every single day. People, like the Navy Seal Team 6, are people that are PROUD to fight for our country and would've much more preferred to have "gone down" while doing what they love and fighting for this country than had they fallen "gone down" in their sleep!! My heart will forever go out to ALL the families that have lost a member, all the friends that have lost someone, and ALLLL the men and women who have paid the ULTIMATE sacrifice in this time of war; but don't think they won't go down in history and don't think that each and every one of them won't be remembered decades from now for being some of the most courageous, honorable, and loyal soldiers and citizens a person could be.
So, instead of taking this time to "blame" someone why don't we all just stop and appreciate their service, mourn for their loss, and REMEMBER THEM because that's the biggest honor we can give people of that caliber whom are fighting for our freedom!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Dear Exhaustion - Please GO AWAY!
Oh man am I exhausted after this weekend. I thought I was tired before, it's got nothin' on today! (Though, I am being productive..not sure how that's working!)
This weekend was slammed full of "stuff" - fun stuff, but "stuff" none-the-less.
Friday my in-laws got into town. We headed out to go see my hubby's job, and then out to dinner.
Saturday was INSANE! It was about 98* outside and the "feels like" (aka heat index) was at 113* for a good majority of the day, but our crazy selves decided that grilling out and heading down to Busch Gardens was a fabulous idea! I don't think I've ever sweat so much in my LIFE! We did have a blast though and the kiddo was FABULOUS! We enjoyed playing for the first hour or so that we were there, then headed over to dinner with Elmo (pictures to come later, my camera died so I've gotta get em from the in-laws) and friends. It was SUCH a great time, even the parents had fun! Judy got to meet Elmo, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Bert & Ernie, and we even saw Oscar the Grouch poking his head outta his trash can a few times! I was incredibly impressed with how Judy handled meeting the over sized characters, she didn't handle Santa too well this past Christmas so I was wicked concerned going into it... but she blew me away, as usual! :) After dinner we headed out to go find more rides to ride and things to do until the fireworks at 9:30 that evening. The hubby and I got to jump our butts on a few roller coasters (which was a TON of fun, but scary in a way I'd never experienced... walking away from your kiddo to get on a roller coaster is a different kind of fear, that's for sure!) and got to act like big kids while playing a couple of games around the park. Overall, it was a very fun and successful day all around!
Yesterday (Sunday) we were up first thing to head out to church with the in-laws. After that we came home for lunch and to let Judy nap, hubby and I both ended up passing out - we were just too exhausted to stay awake while she napped! Once we all got up we then headed over to a waterpark near our house called Ocean Breeze Waterpark. Judy is SUCH a water baby so she, of course, had a ton of fun! Once again the hubby and I left her with Grandma and PawPaw to head over to ride a few rides, it was fun but being parents we wanted to be with Judy and enjoy our time with her! :D She had a blast splashing around in the water and going down all the little slides (mommy almost knocked a few kids out who were trying to push her out of the way and run her over, but luckily they saw me and kinda ran for the hills before they hurt her!).
One very packed weekend, but it was tons of fun. It was hard to see my in-laws go (shocking, right?! ;) hahaha) but I can already tell it's going to get harder and harder to say good bye to family as Judy gets older. We walked them out to the car and as we waved good bye Judy just kept saying "Where's PawPaw? Where he go?" It's heart wrenching, really! :(
Now, it's Monday and we're back to the grind. Hubby is at work and Judy's napping. I'm doing laundry and dishes and all those fun things a mommy does. Tonight I've got to get some work done (I LOVE working from home!!!).... Oh Mondays - I loathe you!!
This weekend was slammed full of "stuff" - fun stuff, but "stuff" none-the-less.
Friday my in-laws got into town. We headed out to go see my hubby's job, and then out to dinner.
Saturday was INSANE! It was about 98* outside and the "feels like" (aka heat index) was at 113* for a good majority of the day, but our crazy selves decided that grilling out and heading down to Busch Gardens was a fabulous idea! I don't think I've ever sweat so much in my LIFE! We did have a blast though and the kiddo was FABULOUS! We enjoyed playing for the first hour or so that we were there, then headed over to dinner with Elmo (pictures to come later, my camera died so I've gotta get em from the in-laws) and friends. It was SUCH a great time, even the parents had fun! Judy got to meet Elmo, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Bert & Ernie, and we even saw Oscar the Grouch poking his head outta his trash can a few times! I was incredibly impressed with how Judy handled meeting the over sized characters, she didn't handle Santa too well this past Christmas so I was wicked concerned going into it... but she blew me away, as usual! :) After dinner we headed out to go find more rides to ride and things to do until the fireworks at 9:30 that evening. The hubby and I got to jump our butts on a few roller coasters (which was a TON of fun, but scary in a way I'd never experienced... walking away from your kiddo to get on a roller coaster is a different kind of fear, that's for sure!) and got to act like big kids while playing a couple of games around the park. Overall, it was a very fun and successful day all around!
Yesterday (Sunday) we were up first thing to head out to church with the in-laws. After that we came home for lunch and to let Judy nap, hubby and I both ended up passing out - we were just too exhausted to stay awake while she napped! Once we all got up we then headed over to a waterpark near our house called Ocean Breeze Waterpark. Judy is SUCH a water baby so she, of course, had a ton of fun! Once again the hubby and I left her with Grandma and PawPaw to head over to ride a few rides, it was fun but being parents we wanted to be with Judy and enjoy our time with her! :D She had a blast splashing around in the water and going down all the little slides (mommy almost knocked a few kids out who were trying to push her out of the way and run her over, but luckily they saw me and kinda ran for the hills before they hurt her!).
One very packed weekend, but it was tons of fun. It was hard to see my in-laws go (shocking, right?! ;) hahaha) but I can already tell it's going to get harder and harder to say good bye to family as Judy gets older. We walked them out to the car and as we waved good bye Judy just kept saying "Where's PawPaw? Where he go?" It's heart wrenching, really! :(
Now, it's Monday and we're back to the grind. Hubby is at work and Judy's napping. I'm doing laundry and dishes and all those fun things a mommy does. Tonight I've got to get some work done (I LOVE working from home!!!).... Oh Mondays - I loathe you!!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Sleeeeeeeeep!
How is it as an adult a person can need a ton of sleep, then said adult has a child and sleep doesn't exist - but that's okay! (????) I have always needed more sleep than "average", I've always been one of those people who needs the "8 hours of sleep every night" .. blahhhh! Since having a child, and working from home especially, sleep seems to be elusive and 8 hours a night just does NOT exist for me... but yet, I run FINE on it (most days HAHA). 4 .. 6 .. some nights even less and yet here I am functioning and working and cleaning and getting things done and running errands and all this and that and still, if I try to go to sleep before 10pm it's like trying to do a headstand from standing up (dang near impossible - COMPLETELY impossible for me!!!) and it never happens.
Strange how our bodies work when it comes to caring for our offspring, huh?
Strange how our bodies work when it comes to caring for our offspring, huh?
Sunday, July 17, 2011
WOW! Where has the month gone?!
Okay - so I know that I haven't written in like, a MONTH, but life has seriously been INSANE! I think today is the first day I've been able to sit down and not feel like I've gotta get on the computer and get my stuff done just to get on the move again!
Let's see: We went to visit my BIL and his wife and new (9 week old) baby a couple weekends ago. I've been working my butt off. I got to photograph a friend of mine whose husband returned from deployment. More work. Cleaning. Oh yeah, a week ago (tomorrow) our stove/oven died so we've been grilling and eating out which is starting to get tough and a little boring... and mighty expensive!!
Hmmmm.. Judy's getting HUGE! She's learning how to associate animals with their sounds (cat = meow, dog = woof) she also knows what an Elephant is (not sure where that came from but she knows it!! She's mastering her body parts (eyes, ears, nose, mouth, belly button, feet, etc) and LOVES to point them out to mommy and daddy :)
We started going back to church as a family last week, it is interesting for me.. I come from a more Catholic background where hubby comes from a Christian background. Picking a church that we're both happy with has been interesting, and more tough for me to adjust to than him seeing as he grew up in the Non-Denominational Church.. Even though hubby had to work today Judy and I still went. (I'm really trying to put in the little bit of added effort...) It's definitely an interesting experience but one that I think I'll adjust to in time :)
Anyways, it's lunch time for me and nap time for the kiddo so I'm gonna head out.. but I PROMISE I'll write more sooner than a month from now! :D
Let's see: We went to visit my BIL and his wife and new (9 week old) baby a couple weekends ago. I've been working my butt off. I got to photograph a friend of mine whose husband returned from deployment. More work. Cleaning. Oh yeah, a week ago (tomorrow) our stove/oven died so we've been grilling and eating out which is starting to get tough and a little boring... and mighty expensive!!
Hmmmm.. Judy's getting HUGE! She's learning how to associate animals with their sounds (cat = meow, dog = woof) she also knows what an Elephant is (not sure where that came from but she knows it!! She's mastering her body parts (eyes, ears, nose, mouth, belly button, feet, etc) and LOVES to point them out to mommy and daddy :)
We started going back to church as a family last week, it is interesting for me.. I come from a more Catholic background where hubby comes from a Christian background. Picking a church that we're both happy with has been interesting, and more tough for me to adjust to than him seeing as he grew up in the Non-Denominational Church.. Even though hubby had to work today Judy and I still went. (I'm really trying to put in the little bit of added effort...) It's definitely an interesting experience but one that I think I'll adjust to in time :)
Anyways, it's lunch time for me and nap time for the kiddo so I'm gonna head out.. but I PROMISE I'll write more sooner than a month from now! :D
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Going back in time..
Do you ever wish that for just one moment you could go back in time? Fix something that went wrong - a friendship, a piece of jewelry, a relationship - and just make it all better, then instantly flash back to the present and have everything be the same except that one little thing you fixed...? I do!
Now, don't get me wrong, I believe in a very strong way that everything happens for a reason. Friendships are gained and lost mainly to teach us a lesson in life, teach us love, teach us pain, teach us the things we need to know to not mess up the same way again. Just because I don't regret things doesn't mean I don't wish there were some things I could change about how I reacted in a particular situation, the things I said, the feelings I felt... it doesn't mean I don't wish I could go back in time, undo those hurtful things and redo them with more patience and understanding.
Since my life has begun as a wife, living in VA, and becoming a mother things have changed for me. I've be come a different person today than I was 2 or 3 years ago, heck even a year ago I was different. We all change and grow as we get older (at least most people do...) and we learn lessons. Some lessons we've got to learn the hard way, some lessons can be taught to us by our parents or our peers.. most of the time (you can ask anyone that's known me for any extended amount of time) I need to learn things the hard way. I don't take people's words of advice, I don't watch and learn, I've got to get down in the dirt to find out that's what makes a person dirty. That's just the kind of person I am, can't change it.. so I am learning (yes, still learning at 23 years old) how to live with such a strong feature in my own personality.
So far, this is what I've come up with...
-When patience run low, walk away. Friendships, child, husband, project.. anything. It's beneficial for me to walk away, take a deep breath, and continue with the issue at a later time and/or date.
-Talk through things without swearing or raising my voice. A dear friend of mine whom I have lost contact with taught me that fighting with hurtful words will get a person no where, it only continues to hurt the person you're fighting with which in turn causes them to want to hurt you back - it's a never ending cycle! Use calm tones of voice, nice words, and be reasonable - if those 3 things can't be done.. refer to the first memo!
-Be honest about my feelings. How can anyone know what I'm feeling (especially my poor husband) if I don't say to them "Look, I'm feeling _______, please understand why I'm acting this way." My attitude, the way I react to different situations - like everyone - varies at any given moment pending what I'm thinking about, dealing with, or even just debating in my own brain. It's sometimes miserable and I've got to remind myself to take a breath and handle each situation as it comes!
Lastly, the biggest thing I'm starting to work on with myself is: -Trust in God, He will not let those fail who don't let themselves fail. My relationship with God and the church has been a forever battle internally. When I was a child I loved going to church, it was so much fun to get up on Sunday mornings and play with all my friends in Sunday school. We had play dates, we hung out, we were all super super close... then our church began having problems and we couldn't afford to fix them (we were a SUPER small church, probably part of why I loved it!!) so we ended up having to merge with another church. Long story short; it was a bad church, most of the people left, and the people who were originally from the church we merged with were all super snobby and had their noses so far in the air they weren't willing to be true friends. In the end, I started to not want to go.. fought my mom every Sunday so I wouldn't have to go, and in the end we stopped going. Once I became old enough to go on my own there was always something "more interesting" going on, and once I got my own car and a job I was working on Sundays (heck yeah time and 1/2!! that's huge at 16!!). Now, I'm a mom and a wife to a very strong and true Christian. My husband is a very strong believer in God and all that He can do, which makes me look back and wonder where my life would be if I hadn't been "too busy" for church.
In the end what I know is that I need to find it again, the faith and strength in Him. I need to move forward and stop looking back at what might have been, what could have been, or what would be today had I changed "x,y, or z". This doesn't only apply to God and church, it applies to everything in my life. The friendships I've lost, the relationships that hit the fan, and the things I would've changed if I could've - it's all taught me valuable lessons in life and now I need to move forward, learn from them, and become a better person/wife/mother/friend.
A good friend once said: "A little humility and lots of love can heal all." Thank you for that, friend, I plan to use it for my future and remember it always!
Now, don't get me wrong, I believe in a very strong way that everything happens for a reason. Friendships are gained and lost mainly to teach us a lesson in life, teach us love, teach us pain, teach us the things we need to know to not mess up the same way again. Just because I don't regret things doesn't mean I don't wish there were some things I could change about how I reacted in a particular situation, the things I said, the feelings I felt... it doesn't mean I don't wish I could go back in time, undo those hurtful things and redo them with more patience and understanding.
Since my life has begun as a wife, living in VA, and becoming a mother things have changed for me. I've be come a different person today than I was 2 or 3 years ago, heck even a year ago I was different. We all change and grow as we get older (at least most people do...) and we learn lessons. Some lessons we've got to learn the hard way, some lessons can be taught to us by our parents or our peers.. most of the time (you can ask anyone that's known me for any extended amount of time) I need to learn things the hard way. I don't take people's words of advice, I don't watch and learn, I've got to get down in the dirt to find out that's what makes a person dirty. That's just the kind of person I am, can't change it.. so I am learning (yes, still learning at 23 years old) how to live with such a strong feature in my own personality.
So far, this is what I've come up with...
-When patience run low, walk away. Friendships, child, husband, project.. anything. It's beneficial for me to walk away, take a deep breath, and continue with the issue at a later time and/or date.
-Talk through things without swearing or raising my voice. A dear friend of mine whom I have lost contact with taught me that fighting with hurtful words will get a person no where, it only continues to hurt the person you're fighting with which in turn causes them to want to hurt you back - it's a never ending cycle! Use calm tones of voice, nice words, and be reasonable - if those 3 things can't be done.. refer to the first memo!
-Be honest about my feelings. How can anyone know what I'm feeling (especially my poor husband) if I don't say to them "Look, I'm feeling _______, please understand why I'm acting this way." My attitude, the way I react to different situations - like everyone - varies at any given moment pending what I'm thinking about, dealing with, or even just debating in my own brain. It's sometimes miserable and I've got to remind myself to take a breath and handle each situation as it comes!
Lastly, the biggest thing I'm starting to work on with myself is: -Trust in God, He will not let those fail who don't let themselves fail. My relationship with God and the church has been a forever battle internally. When I was a child I loved going to church, it was so much fun to get up on Sunday mornings and play with all my friends in Sunday school. We had play dates, we hung out, we were all super super close... then our church began having problems and we couldn't afford to fix them (we were a SUPER small church, probably part of why I loved it!!) so we ended up having to merge with another church. Long story short; it was a bad church, most of the people left, and the people who were originally from the church we merged with were all super snobby and had their noses so far in the air they weren't willing to be true friends. In the end, I started to not want to go.. fought my mom every Sunday so I wouldn't have to go, and in the end we stopped going. Once I became old enough to go on my own there was always something "more interesting" going on, and once I got my own car and a job I was working on Sundays (heck yeah time and 1/2!! that's huge at 16!!). Now, I'm a mom and a wife to a very strong and true Christian. My husband is a very strong believer in God and all that He can do, which makes me look back and wonder where my life would be if I hadn't been "too busy" for church.
In the end what I know is that I need to find it again, the faith and strength in Him. I need to move forward and stop looking back at what might have been, what could have been, or what would be today had I changed "x,y, or z". This doesn't only apply to God and church, it applies to everything in my life. The friendships I've lost, the relationships that hit the fan, and the things I would've changed if I could've - it's all taught me valuable lessons in life and now I need to move forward, learn from them, and become a better person/wife/mother/friend.
A good friend once said: "A little humility and lots of love can heal all." Thank you for that, friend, I plan to use it for my future and remember it always!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Time Flies..
Do you remember when you were a kid and you couldn't wait to grow up?! Couldn't wait to drive, make your own rules, and not have a bed time. Well, there are days now that I wish someone would drive me around, give me rules, and force me to go to bed at 8pm every night (except weekends!). It seems to me that as I get older time goes faster, then I had a kid and time started moving even faster - what's up with that?! My daughter is now 19 months old - she walks, runs, talks, talks back, and she has QUITE the BIG personality for such a little girl. She's growing into this little person!! I mean, as parents we all know this is going to happen, it's the way of life and all that fun stuff.. but let me tell ya - for those of you that may not have children yet, it moves FAST!!!
It honestly feels like just yesterday (okay, maybe just last week) that we were bringing her home from the hospital, to an apartment that had no power for our first 26 hours home with a newborn. It feels like only yesterday that we were celebrating her FIRST BIRTHDAY! It's crazy to think that in only 5 months our baby girl, our little princess, (and as my husband has taken to calling her) our little Judy-Bug will be 2 whole years old!
How did this happen? How did time get away from me like this!? I ask my best friend all the time "When did we become adults? When did we stop being young and become adults, parents, and responsible people?!" He never really seems to know either, but it seems like we're all just moving SO fast all the time. It feels like life is on fast forward and it's impossible to find the "frame by frame" or "pause" buttons.
For my friends out there who don't have children yet, have children on the way, or are just starting out as new parents - do yourself a favor and remember to take the extra moment to REALLY appreciate them. Just take that extra moment in running around like a mad mommy/daddy trying to get bottles and baby stuff ready to remember what a gift these precious little ones are. When they're sleeping, take the extra moment to just watch them.. to just see them at complete and total peace (it won't last long!) and quiet and restfulness. And even if they're up all night, crying non-stop, can't be satisfied, and have an insatiable need to nurse or poop or just be plain old exhausting - remember, it won't always be that way. Things will change, they will grow, and when (like me) you realize exactly how much time has passed and things have changed you'll wish you'd stopped once in a while "back in the day"!
It honestly feels like just yesterday (okay, maybe just last week) that we were bringing her home from the hospital, to an apartment that had no power for our first 26 hours home with a newborn. It feels like only yesterday that we were celebrating her FIRST BIRTHDAY! It's crazy to think that in only 5 months our baby girl, our little princess, (and as my husband has taken to calling her) our little Judy-Bug will be 2 whole years old!
The day we brought her home! :)
Her very first birthday celebration!
Just last week!!
How did this happen? How did time get away from me like this!? I ask my best friend all the time "When did we become adults? When did we stop being young and become adults, parents, and responsible people?!" He never really seems to know either, but it seems like we're all just moving SO fast all the time. It feels like life is on fast forward and it's impossible to find the "frame by frame" or "pause" buttons.
For my friends out there who don't have children yet, have children on the way, or are just starting out as new parents - do yourself a favor and remember to take the extra moment to REALLY appreciate them. Just take that extra moment in running around like a mad mommy/daddy trying to get bottles and baby stuff ready to remember what a gift these precious little ones are. When they're sleeping, take the extra moment to just watch them.. to just see them at complete and total peace (it won't last long!) and quiet and restfulness. And even if they're up all night, crying non-stop, can't be satisfied, and have an insatiable need to nurse or poop or just be plain old exhausting - remember, it won't always be that way. Things will change, they will grow, and when (like me) you realize exactly how much time has passed and things have changed you'll wish you'd stopped once in a while "back in the day"!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Peeve #2 - Immature Parents
This isn't so much of a rant or a vent as just a huge peeve of mine. While having a conversation earlier with a good friend of mine, I realized that I've grown up in so many ways - especially since having my daughter. Living away from "home" and the place I grew up has helped to kind of raise me in a way as well, but becoming a parent - responsible in all ways/shapes/forms, loving another living/breathing being as much as I love my daughter, and caring for someone 24/7/365 - has really made me grow up in ways that I didn't even realize over the short period of time that I've been a mom. I've been mostly lucky with my daughter, she's a good kid - most of the time (every kid has their moments, some worse or more than others...) - and I find myself to be incredibly blessed and lucky to have such a beautiful, healthy, well-mannered (she says please and thank you, and beep beep now too!), and loving kiddo! All the things she knows, I've taught her. All the things she does, she's copying me. All the looks she gives me, they're either an exact replica of my husband or myself. It is the most insane thing ever!
Well, by me growing up I guess I just assume in a way (I know, never assume anything - it only ends up making and ass out of you and me) that all parents have taken this same leap and grown up - in their own ways of course - and become the "responsible" parent they're supposed to be.. Right?? WRONG!!! Goodness I couldn't be more wrong about a particular assumption!!! I've actually found, in personal encounters, that there are sooooooooooooooooooo many parents - especially "young" parents but not secluded to them - that refuse to grow up.
Parties? Sure! Bar hoping? Sure! Drinking until we're silly? Sure! -- What kind of life is that to live when you've got a CHILD that is depending on you to care for them, to make sure they've got all the things they could need or want in life? Honestly, I think it's crap! I think it's a bullshit way of getting away from life for a little while - but what good does it really do?? At the end of the day (or night whichever you prefer to say) your child, your spouse, your life.. they're still there. They're all waiting for you after the drunken stupor wears off, after the hangover is gone, after the "good time" is had.. everything you tried to escape is still there!
I know some parents who occasionally go out for a couple drinks every once in a while with their friends while their hubby/wifey stay home to care for the kiddo(s).. that's cool. That's responsible. Sometimes going out for drinks with your girl/guy friends is so much needed, that's cool! What I'm referring to are the parents who drop their kid off with family or at a sitter on a REGULAR basis just so they can get shitty every week(end) with their friends. Give me a break! You wanted to become a parent, if you didn't then you should've kept your legs closed or put a rain jacket on "Little Mr."!!!
Anyhow, I think being immature parent is crap. Grow up. Take responsibility. Be a parent!!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Pet Peeve #1
Ignorance!
Ignorance is not bliss. One person is NO better than another no matter your life differences. Ignorance is stupidity more than anything else. Ignorance will cause me to loose my patience with said person and tell them how I feel about said ignorance!
I HATE IGNORANT PEOPLE!
end vent/pet peeve #1
Ignorance is not bliss. One person is NO better than another no matter your life differences. Ignorance is stupidity more than anything else. Ignorance will cause me to loose my patience with said person and tell them how I feel about said ignorance!
I HATE IGNORANT PEOPLE!
end vent/pet peeve #1
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Talk the talk??
In a community such as the one I'm a part of people talk a whole lot of talk, but can't manage to walk ANY of the walk. Every chance they get they're running home, and saying how "hard" things are for them.. When in reality they've got it made! I can't stand how people do nothing in life but dwell on the bad and the unfortunate, I wish more people would say "Yes, this sucks.. BUTTTTTTT I've got A, B, and C going for me!" No, instead they've got to be depressed, mad, angry at the world, and just plain old annoying about how "bad" their life is. THEN, being a nice person.. trying to cheer them up.. a friend will say something such as "Yeah.. that does suck and I'm sorry you're dealing with that.. but don't forget about A, B, and C" and next thing you know the nice/good friend is torn down by them repeating how "awful" their life is!
In the end it's really just a sad and pathetic kinda way to live, the lives we life are dictated by that which we make of them. If people are going to sit back and say how much their life sucks when it really DOESN'T then that's their problem. I've made it so far in my adventures as a wife and mother because when people sit there and make themselves look like they've got this horrible and awful life I look at them and say two words: "PEACE OUT!" I don't need them, their drama, their depression, or their issues weighing down on my life and my happiness!
If you're going to live a "different" lifestyle from the "norm" then plan to have a tough time!! Also, if you're going to "talk the talk" be sure you can HANDLE walking the walk, because if you can't you're going to be MISERABLE!!
In the end it's really just a sad and pathetic kinda way to live, the lives we life are dictated by that which we make of them. If people are going to sit back and say how much their life sucks when it really DOESN'T then that's their problem. I've made it so far in my adventures as a wife and mother because when people sit there and make themselves look like they've got this horrible and awful life I look at them and say two words: "PEACE OUT!" I don't need them, their drama, their depression, or their issues weighing down on my life and my happiness!
If you're going to live a "different" lifestyle from the "norm" then plan to have a tough time!! Also, if you're going to "talk the talk" be sure you can HANDLE walking the walk, because if you can't you're going to be MISERABLE!!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Sleep or caffeine?
Sleep seems to be an illusion to me most days. I think I've slept and then when I wake up I'd swear I'd not gotten more than 10 minutes because I'm still THAT exhausted! How come sleep can't always be restful, can't always help more than it hurts?! Some days I wonder if I'd be better off just kinda staying awake all the time, but then I realize that it's probably not my best idea with an 18 month old daughter whose energy level is through the roof on an every day basis.
I really wish, even if just for one day, I could have as much energy as she does.. maybe then ALL of my cleaning/laundry/dishes/chores could get done at once instead of being done over a course of time - only to find that once I'm finished it's time to start all over again! It seems as though every time I get through things I've got to start doing them all over again, oh to be a mom and wife! :)
Maybe if I slept straight through, without waking up or tossing and turning through the night I'd feel more "rested" than I have these past months. Seems to me that I can't get "comfortable" or that I just can't find that right spot to make me sleep just right. I'm not sure what to do differently, I refuse to take meds that I could quite potentially get "addicted" to and that doesn't leave me much of an option these days as most medications are quite addicting - especially those "sleepy pills" that docs seem to give out like they're candy! I'm not a real big medicine person either, I avoid the doctor at all possible costs and don't like taking even Tylenol for a headache if I can help it, so sleepy pills aren't seeming like much of an option.
Lucky for me, I may not feel very rested after sleeping for any amount of time but my wonderful husband purchased me a Keurig as a gift and that has made all the difference. On those tough to get moving kinda days, I brew up a quick (and when I say quick I mean it, I think it takes like 2 mins for a cup of coffee!! it's GREAT!) cup of coffee, toss back my caffeine, and move about my day getting all the wonderful things done that have to get done! Now, it's time for some caffeine for me so I can get this house cleaned up, laundry done, and then HOPEFULLY some fresh air this afternoon! :)
I really wish, even if just for one day, I could have as much energy as she does.. maybe then ALL of my cleaning/laundry/dishes/chores could get done at once instead of being done over a course of time - only to find that once I'm finished it's time to start all over again! It seems as though every time I get through things I've got to start doing them all over again, oh to be a mom and wife! :)
Maybe if I slept straight through, without waking up or tossing and turning through the night I'd feel more "rested" than I have these past months. Seems to me that I can't get "comfortable" or that I just can't find that right spot to make me sleep just right. I'm not sure what to do differently, I refuse to take meds that I could quite potentially get "addicted" to and that doesn't leave me much of an option these days as most medications are quite addicting - especially those "sleepy pills" that docs seem to give out like they're candy! I'm not a real big medicine person either, I avoid the doctor at all possible costs and don't like taking even Tylenol for a headache if I can help it, so sleepy pills aren't seeming like much of an option.
Lucky for me, I may not feel very rested after sleeping for any amount of time but my wonderful husband purchased me a Keurig as a gift and that has made all the difference. On those tough to get moving kinda days, I brew up a quick (and when I say quick I mean it, I think it takes like 2 mins for a cup of coffee!! it's GREAT!) cup of coffee, toss back my caffeine, and move about my day getting all the wonderful things done that have to get done! Now, it's time for some caffeine for me so I can get this house cleaned up, laundry done, and then HOPEFULLY some fresh air this afternoon! :)
Saturday, June 4, 2011
It's been far too long!
Sorry ladies and gents, it's been forever since I've had a chance to write. I had company this past week, and we've been on the go EVERY day and some days into the night. My daughter and I just dropped off my friend at the airport this afternoon... it's so very lonely not having her here with us anymore! We had a fabulous week, lots of laughs and memories and just plain old fun! Hopefully a few days off and relaxing will help my kiddo get back into her routine and not be so cranky anymore!
I will write more later, not really a whole lot on my sleepy mind right now!
I will write more later, not really a whole lot on my sleepy mind right now!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
...Why try??
Have you every met someone that you just wonder to yourself "Why do I keep trying to help this person when they don't even want to help themselves?" yet you continue to try to help them?
Yeah - I'm one of those people. One of those "I'll never give up on you" (ya know, kinda like in the overly dramatic Titantic scene). Sometimes, I hate it. Sometimes, it's rewarding. Most of the time, it's annoying. I like people, I'm a "people person" as they go, I tend to thrive on interaction with other people - in most cases.
In this case, it's a point in time that I've got to learn to walk away and teach myself that people aren't going to accept help if they won't help themselves. In the life I live there are a LOT of people who just don't get what it is to just enjoy life, live life to the fullest, be happy, and appreciate the things they DO have instead of the things that they DON'T have. I try to help these people who focus on the negative, I try to help them see the positive and remind them that they do have a lot to be thankful for, a lot to be happy about, and that some days are hard but there is always the next day and that - if they let it - it CAN be better than the bad day they had today.
I just really wonder if some people are "worth" focusing so much time on. Even with all this wondering, all this curiosity, and annoyance on the whole subject.. I still do it. I still try. I still care. I'll keep going, keep trying, and keep doing until I can no longer help.
Yeah - I'm one of those people. One of those "I'll never give up on you" (ya know, kinda like in the overly dramatic Titantic scene). Sometimes, I hate it. Sometimes, it's rewarding. Most of the time, it's annoying. I like people, I'm a "people person" as they go, I tend to thrive on interaction with other people - in most cases.
In this case, it's a point in time that I've got to learn to walk away and teach myself that people aren't going to accept help if they won't help themselves. In the life I live there are a LOT of people who just don't get what it is to just enjoy life, live life to the fullest, be happy, and appreciate the things they DO have instead of the things that they DON'T have. I try to help these people who focus on the negative, I try to help them see the positive and remind them that they do have a lot to be thankful for, a lot to be happy about, and that some days are hard but there is always the next day and that - if they let it - it CAN be better than the bad day they had today.
I just really wonder if some people are "worth" focusing so much time on. Even with all this wondering, all this curiosity, and annoyance on the whole subject.. I still do it. I still try. I still care. I'll keep going, keep trying, and keep doing until I can no longer help.
Memorial Day Weekend
Memorial day holds a special place in my heart for so many reasons. Those reasons are very valuable to me and I hope that everyone can find a reason to be thankful for this 3 or 4 day weekend from work, the freedoms we have as Americans, and the amazing men and women who have/are/will serve this beautiful Country!!
This is the reason we remember them, because they DESERVE it!! They've earned the right to have a holiday to be honored and remembered, they fight for us and our freedoms as American citizens!!
Thank you not only to those that have served IN the military and paid the ultimate sacrifice, but ALSO to the FAMILIES that have lost their loved ones.. thank you to those military spouses who every day live life without their other half, their son, their father, their brother or sister - I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
This is the reason we remember them, because they DESERVE it!! They've earned the right to have a holiday to be honored and remembered, they fight for us and our freedoms as American citizens!!
Thank you not only to those that have served IN the military and paid the ultimate sacrifice, but ALSO to the FAMILIES that have lost their loved ones.. thank you to those military spouses who every day live life without their other half, their son, their father, their brother or sister - I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Friday, May 27, 2011
A little about my life...
My life.. hmmm. It's definitely interesting, fast-paced, unpredictable, and mostly fabulous. My husband and I have been married for 2 years as of this past March 25th, and our daughter just turned 18 months old on the 9th of May. Currently I reside about 10 minutes from one of the biggest destination locations in the world, originally I'm from about 500 miles North of here, this is my first time ever living away from home or my family. Things on my own can get tough, but none-the-less I still wouldn't trade this life for the World, even if you offered it to me on a pretty China dish on a beautiful silver platter. I believe when life gets tough.. ya gotta get tougher than that, ya gotta stay a step ahead of the game and expect the unexpected, and more than anything ya just gotta be you!
This blog will confuse some I'm sure, throw others for a doozy, and probably be super random and possibly on occasion a little out of the ordinary. I have many random thoughts, I think of many random songs, and there will be days when I won't post anything other than possibly a quote that just perfectly describes my life in that moment in time.
As for me - just me - I like to think of myself as fun-loving, a pet lover, and someone who just doesn't care what anyone thinks about her anymore. I spent a lot of time, TOO MUCH time, worrying about who was thinking what about me... but in the end - what good does that do ME?! So, now.. I don't care! :) The people I love mean the world to me and I don't stand for anyone being mean, rude, or immature towards them. I speak my mind without hesitation - some people say my brain to mouth filter is broken, I guess it's an accurate way of describing me most days. I'm an open book, if someone asks me a question 99.9% of the time I'll answer them without any hesitation. I have nothing to hide, I'm not ashamed of who I am, and I believe everything happens for a reason. I do believe there is a God, I also believe in Astrology and yoga - apparently I can't seem to make up my mind (that's typical of me though...you'll see!) and it doesn't bother me in the least. I attempted one career for too long and spent far too much money on college only to not receive a degree and to choose a COMPLETELY different career path. Right now I edit photos for a real estate photographer, it gets a little tedious sometimes but I work from home on my own schedule (more or less) and I don't have to put my daughter in daycare - so it's a win-win for me. Currently I am in the process of trying to begin a photography business - I have never felt so complete in a career path as I do when I stand behind my camera and capture the moments that mean so much to people. I'm better at nature and still photography for right now, but I'm working on learning many many other things (it's a career where you can NEVER know it all and I love that!). I used to have an incredible passion for learning, but that passion has faded since I failed to achieve my longest standing goal (ya know, the one that I decided not to do after spending WAY too much money on college.. yeah, that one). I'm trying with all my might to figure out who I am, where I'm going, and where I want to end up.
But, for now, I'm enjoying my life here on the beach as a mommy and wife.. taking life a day at a time.
This blog will confuse some I'm sure, throw others for a doozy, and probably be super random and possibly on occasion a little out of the ordinary. I have many random thoughts, I think of many random songs, and there will be days when I won't post anything other than possibly a quote that just perfectly describes my life in that moment in time.
As for me - just me - I like to think of myself as fun-loving, a pet lover, and someone who just doesn't care what anyone thinks about her anymore. I spent a lot of time, TOO MUCH time, worrying about who was thinking what about me... but in the end - what good does that do ME?! So, now.. I don't care! :) The people I love mean the world to me and I don't stand for anyone being mean, rude, or immature towards them. I speak my mind without hesitation - some people say my brain to mouth filter is broken, I guess it's an accurate way of describing me most days. I'm an open book, if someone asks me a question 99.9% of the time I'll answer them without any hesitation. I have nothing to hide, I'm not ashamed of who I am, and I believe everything happens for a reason. I do believe there is a God, I also believe in Astrology and yoga - apparently I can't seem to make up my mind (that's typical of me though...you'll see!) and it doesn't bother me in the least. I attempted one career for too long and spent far too much money on college only to not receive a degree and to choose a COMPLETELY different career path. Right now I edit photos for a real estate photographer, it gets a little tedious sometimes but I work from home on my own schedule (more or less) and I don't have to put my daughter in daycare - so it's a win-win for me. Currently I am in the process of trying to begin a photography business - I have never felt so complete in a career path as I do when I stand behind my camera and capture the moments that mean so much to people. I'm better at nature and still photography for right now, but I'm working on learning many many other things (it's a career where you can NEVER know it all and I love that!). I used to have an incredible passion for learning, but that passion has faded since I failed to achieve my longest standing goal (ya know, the one that I decided not to do after spending WAY too much money on college.. yeah, that one). I'm trying with all my might to figure out who I am, where I'm going, and where I want to end up.
But, for now, I'm enjoying my life here on the beach as a mommy and wife.. taking life a day at a time.
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